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HEAVEN
AND HELL
A property manager dies and soon finds himself
standing in front of St. Peter. St. Peter tells him "You have a choice
of going to heaven or to hell and I suggest you check them both out before
deciding." So he chooses to check out hell first.
He goes down to hell and finds himself in the
middle of the biggest party he has ever seen. People are dancing and drinking
and doing the limbo (and nobody's doing the Macarena!). Everyone is laughing
and having a great time.
Next St. Peter takes him up to heaven to look
around. Everything is white and pristine. People are speaking softly about
philosophy and mathematical formulas. Others are simply contemplative
and serene. He's bored in about five minutes.
St. Peter then says to the property manager,
"I want you to sleep on it and meet me back here in the morning to let
me know your decision." The next morning he comes back and says to St.
Peter, "Heaven is very nice and all, but hell looks great, so I've decided
that I want to go to hell". So St. Peter puts him on the escalator down
to hell.
When he gets there he sees Satan whipping people
and there's fire everywhere and everyone is screaming in pain. So he goes
over to Satan and says "Hey, what gives here? Yesterday I came here to
check the place out and everyone had me partying and it looked like a
great time. What happened?"
Satan looks at him and says "You used to be a
property manager so you ought to know the answer to your own question.
Yesterday you were a prospect. Today you're just another resident!"
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